so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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