I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
