I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
