Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
