Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
