In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I got inside last night via doggy door
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
