i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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