We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize