You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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