I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I smell like Dick and happiness
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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