that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
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I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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