Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
