You're completely useless in the revolution.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
