i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
