it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
