she looked like the before picture.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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