It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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