How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
