It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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