I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's rum buckets o'clock
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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