Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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