Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize