he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
