There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
