am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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