my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
