umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize