i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
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Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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