The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
