dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
