I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize