I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
