I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
