My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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