the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
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You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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