just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
