the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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