I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
