An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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