what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
