Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
