She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
