How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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