Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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