so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
