Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize