He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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