Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
