The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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