Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
