Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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