I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
