I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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