I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
