I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
