I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
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i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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